DRIVING MISS DAISY OR DRIVING MISS "CRAZY"?

For those who know my parents and my grandparents very well.. please don’t tell them about this article.. ;P

Driving Miss Daisy adalah film keluaran tahun 1989, yang memenangkan Oscar sebagai Film Terbaik, dan memberikan Oscar untuk Jessica Tandy (in the age of 80, waktu itu) sebagai aktris terbaik. Miss Daisy (Jessica Tandy) adalah seorang janda yang tinggal sendiri di rumah miliknya. Menurut anaknya, kelakuan Miss Daisy ini semakin super sensitif ketika usianya bertambah tua. Maka, untuk mengatasi hal ini, anaknya memperkerjakan supir pribadi untuk Miss Daisy (diperankan dengan brilian oleh Morgan Freeman), yang selain berfungsi sebagai sarana transportasi juga dapat menjadi teman yang ‘sangat memahami’ kerewelan orang-orang tua seumurnya. Film itu menceritakan hubungan persahabatan yang manis antara Miss Daisy dengan Pak Supir yang berkulit hitam, termasuk kepasrahan Pak Supir menerima kebawelan Miss Daisy.

Melihat film itu, saya langsung berpikir.. apa iya sih, orang kalau makin tua, makin jadi bawel dan super sensitif serta berkelakuan aneh-aneh?

Ya pengamatan terdekat pastinya.. dari keluarga sendiri dong.. he..he..

Tengok nenek saya (dari pihak Ibu). Perasaan sih sekitar 10-15 tahun yang lalu nenek saya ini biasa-biasa aja sifatnya. Tapi begitu menginjak usia ke-80, hingga sekarang diusianya yang ke-86, super sensitifnya muncul entah dari arah mata angin yang mana. Misalnya, pernah suatu hari saya begitu sibuk membaca materi pekerjaan di rumah pada akhir pekan, sehingga tidak menyadari beliau berada di dekat saya saat itu. Sekitar 10 menit kemudian, tiba-tiba beliau balik ke kamar dan terdengar suara isak tertahan tak beberapa lama. Saya pun buru-buru masuk ke kamarnya karena panik. Tahu apa yang dia katakan? “Saya salah apa? Kenapa saya tidak disapa tadi pada saat saya di dekat kamu?” Alamakjaaann.. lah wong orang lagi gak nyadar jeh. Ya mbok saya dicolek kek gitu, diinjek kek, apa kek, biar nyadar.. gak perlu lah pake terisak-isak dan membuat saya sampe filing gilti ke langit ketujuh..

Ya.. tapi itulah orang yang sudah tua.. he..he..

Juga tengok lagi nenek saya (dari pihak Bapak), yang pada suatu hari tanpa pemberitahuan muncul di rumah saya dengan membawa oleh-oleh dari Surabaya (beliau habis pergi dari sana). Dulunya sih nenek saya ini orangnya gak pernah ributan, tapi menginjak usia ke-80, hingga sekarang diusianya yang ke-83, ternyata sifat ributnya mulai tampak. Tante saya yang nganter nenek saya ke rumah saya ini berkilah, “Haduh, ini ributnya tiap hari minta dianter kesini. Udah deh, mendingan sekarang aja saya anter, daripada berabe!” Bapak saya yang ngliat oleh-oleh yang dibawa mak-nya itu malah berujar, “Ini kok kayaknya antara oleh-oleh dan ongkos perginya (sekitar 100 Km pulang pergi dari rumah saya ke rumah) agak-agak gak imbang ya?” Saya langsung ngakak.. Aduh Beh.. Beh.. ya tolong dong.. nenek-nenek gitu loh, manalah keburu make analisis cost-benefit segala?

Tapi Bapak saya juga tidak luput dari ‘sindroma’ ini..

Dulu beliau juga kayaknya santai-santai aja dalam berurusan dengan yang namanya ‘energi’. Tapi begitu menginjak usia yang ke-60, tiba-tiba beliau langsung jadi over-acting. Pemakaian listrik harus hemat! Kalau coba-coba meninggalkan kamar dalam keadaan lampu dan AC nyala, walau hanya sebentar (karena ke WC atau lain hal), tiba-tiba langsung dimatikan! Membuat saya jadi il-fil dan pengen pindah ke Finlandia (biar jauh banget maksudnya dari Jakarta.. he..he..)! Belum lagi kalau ada petirbergemuruh, tanpa basa-basi langsung seluruh listrik rumah dimatikan! Dan, saya berasa jadi hidup di jaman The Flintstones! Aduh, Beh, ini kalau sampeyan udah umur 70-an ke atas, saya harus setabah apa lagi ya? He..he..

Suatu hari, saya liat di artikel majalah yang membahas tentang kehidupan di rumah jompo. Salah satu orang di rumah jompo itu diwawancara. Kata orang itu, dia masuk ke rumah jompo karena murni keinginannya. Anak-anaknya melarang. Tapi dia tahu, bahwa orang tua seperti dia pasti jadi super sensitif dan dapat menjadi beban bagi anak-anaknya. Selain itu, berkumpul bersama sesama jompo yang juga sama-sama super sensitif, juga menjadi hiburan tersendiri bagi lingkup pergaulan sosialnya. Anak-anaknya pun memberi syarat, boleh tinggal di rumah jompo, tapi setiap akhir pekan harus bergiliran menginap di rumah anak-anaknya.

Saya sih gak kebayang menitipkan orang tua di rumah jompo. Rasanya kok ‘gimana gitu’ ya? Apalagi saya anak 1-1-nya. Tapi, saya bisa ngerti juga, bahwa rumah jompo itu bukan selamanya ‘solusi buruk’. Makanya, waktu itu saya sempet berujar ke Ibu saya yang sedang duduk di dekat saya ketika saya sedang membaca artikel tersebut, “Kadang-kadang, mungkin ada benarnya juga kali ya kalau orang tua itu tinggal di rumah jompo..”

Mendengar kata-kata saya itu, Ibu saya langsung mendelik, “Jadi, maksud lo, lo mau naro gue di panti jompo kalo udah tua?! Lo tuh anak durhaka banget sih?!!”

Loh.. loh.. emang saya ngomong apaan sih? Kok jadi kesitu-situ tanggepannya?

God.. my ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ show has just begun.. But it’s OK, as long as I don’t have to get a show of ‘Driving Miss Crazy’..

;P

ONE FACTOR YOU SHOULD CONSIDER BEFORE ACCEPTING THE JOB IS..

TOILET!

He..he..

Yes! Toilet! Ruangan yang dapat berukuran relatif kecil mau pun besar tersebut, menurut saya memegang peranan penting dalam sendi-sendi kehidupan di mana pun. Anda bisa bayangkan kan? Bila Anda berada di dalam kantor sekitar 8 jam sehari, setidaknya Anda pasti akan menggunakan toilet tersebut minimal sekitar 2-3 kali dalam sehari.

Dalam kasus saya.. malahan frekuensinya bisa melebihi sholat lima waktu! He..he..

I remember, dulu saya tidak terlalu perduli tentang hal yang satu ini. Namanya juga baru lulus S1, dan punya prinsip “Yang penting dapet kerjaan, deh.” Maka, dalam setiap sesi job test atau interview di mana pun, toilet di kantor yang bersangkutan tersebut luput dari pertimbangan saya.

When I was accepted company X, I felt irritated with its toilet. Agak susah untuk melukiskannya. Tidak terlalu kotor, namun tidak juga bersih. But aromanya agak-agak unpleasant, dan kebetulan model keramik dan tools lainnya (WC, keran, hanging pispot) juga tidak sesuai dengan hati saya. Selama ini saya baru mampu untuk menggunakan toilet di company X itu untuk cuci tangan dan buang air kecil. Lebih dari itu? Gak kebayang! Ngerti dong maksudnya.. he..he..

So, untuk yang berikutnya, sebelum saya memutuskan untuk mengatakan YES ke company Y, saya buru-buru memeriksa toilet-nya terlebih dahulu. Well, it’s not bad. Kebetulan juga company Y itu adalah tenant di salah satu bangunan terjangkung di Jakarta. Jadi, bisa dipastikan kualitas toilet-nya ya harus representatif punya dong. Dan di Company Y itulah saya baru dapat melakukan ‘lebih dari sekedar buang air kecil’ dengan nyaman.. he..he..

Toilet sih boleh cocok, tapi sayangnya gaji dan fasilitas gak cocok.. ;P Jadi, pada saat company Z menawarkan job yang lebih prospektif menurut saya, buru-buru saya ambil, sialnya tanpa mempertimbangkan faktor toilet tadi, yang kemudian saya baru tahu ternyata toilet company Z itu mirip-mirip dengan company X, tapi sedikit lebih baik. Hmm.. jangan-jangan mesti pindah kantor lagi nih.. he..he..

Entah Company Z itu bisa membaca pikiran saya atau tidak, ternyata 3 bulan kemudian Company Z memutuskan untuk pindah kantor ke salah satu gedung di Jl. Sudirman. Sumpe, toilet-nya sih OK banget. Kran wastafel-nya memakai sistem scan tangan, sehingga gak memubazirkan penggunaan air, keramiknya juga ciamik punya. Tappiiii, kok di WC-nya hanya ada.. tissue? Tanpa shower?!! Jadi, kalau hendak ‘lebih dari sekedar buang air kecil’, saya terpaksa harus mencari-cari cara untuk menadahkan air di keran untuk dibawa ke dalam bilik WC entah dengan menggunakan gelas atau botol bekas aqua, dan yang terakhir saya malah beli ember dengan gayung pribadi, yang emang saya bawa kalau saya hendak ‘begitu’. Untungnya di lantai tersebut seluruhnya disewa oleh Company Z, jadi setidaknya saya gak akan dianggap cleaning service berdasi dengan bawa-bawa ember dan gayung segala oleh pegawai dari kantor lain. Kalau teman-teman di Company Z sih udah apal dengan kelakuan saya ;P

Jangan-jangan, karena Company Z tidak dapat menyediakan toilet yang adequate untuk kebutuhan saya, makanya saya akhirnya terdampar hingga sekarang (setelah melewati proses tes rekrutmen selama 1 tahun!) di kantor ini. Toiletnya? Di bagian saya sih OK BANGET! Tidak mewah, namun cukup comfy, aromanya juga good, dan persediaan air berlimpah ruah. Rutinitas pagi hari pun terasa berjalan sangat lancaaarr.. He..he.. Waduh, jangan-jangan emang disinilah perhentian saya karena toilet-nya udah pas banget nih!

But, masalah mulai timbul kalau saya sedang mengadakan perjalanan dinas ke cabang-cabang di kantor saya yang sekarang. Biasanya 1 kali perjalanan dinas minimal memerlukan waktu 10 hari untuk berdiam di satu kota tersebut. Misalnya seperti di kantor cabang kota ‘B’, begitu ‘serangan alam’ mulai menunjukkan tandanya.. saya buru-buru lari ke hotel (yang terletak di sebelah kantor cab. ‘B’) dengan upaya ‘penahanan’ yang maksimal! Soalnya saya yakin gak bakalan ‘konsen’ dengan toilet di kantor itu. Jadi, lebih baik agak jauh sedikit tapi ‘aman’. Hanya saja, kalau seperti ke kantor cabang ‘M’, ‘L’, ‘S’, ‘J’ dan ‘Y’ yang toilet-nya rada-rada tidak memenuhi spesifikasi saya dan letaknya jauh dari hotel, terpaksalah saya ‘menyesuaikan’ diri dengan ‘toleransi maksimal mode on’. Biasanya sih memejamkan mata dikit, atau mengalihkan ke hal-hal lain, atau mempercepat proses supaya jangan terlalu lama ada di dalam toilet! He..he..

So, should there be any chance for me to be the top management of one enterprise/institution someday, you’ll bet I’ll locate a proper budget to maintain nice restrooms for all employees.

It’s a promise..

;P

BETWEEN EAST & WEST, DOES MOM REALLY KNOW THE BEST?

When I was in High School, my mom and I sat in front of the teacher. She took my 2nd semester’s study result. At that time, I had to decide about the subject that I would have taken in the 2nd and 3rd year. Based on my result, the teacher gave me two options, Biology Science (A2) and Social Studies (A3).

I really wanted to continue my study to A3, but before I had a chance to say it, my mom said it out loudly to my teacher, “He will take A2!” I was shocked, I starred at her with the face of “Please, this is my life, and you have to let me choose it by myself”. She starred back at me with the face of “Just be silent, since I’m paying for this, and I have bigger authority to decide!”

The money must be funny in the rich man's world, but later I’ve found it was more than that. She has just done something that she felt it will be the best thing for me..

Here I am right now.. and.. well.. yeah.. I could say that her decision was some kind of a right thing to do.. ;)

I always fall in love with the Indian Literatures. They always tell us their own stories with the unique ways surrounded by their ancient cultures which still last till nowadays. So, this ‘Hindi Bindi Club’ from Monica Pradhan really touched me. The fiction is operated by 6 roles of women. They are mothers and daughter, and they are all Indians and Hindus and live in USA. 3 daughters (around 30s) and 3 mothers (around 60s) all (6 of them) know each other and have a closely relationship. Well, sometimes they had an argument about something, but it was not the significant issues that could break their friendship.

Meet Kiran. She was a medical doctor, and a divorcee from a husband of amateur ‘non-Indian’ rock star. Her mother suggested trying luck by marrying a nice Indian boy. In fact, when Kiran felt that she has found his soul mate, an American Man around 40s and could speak Bengali and familiar with Indian cultures, what should the mother do? Should she approve of her daughter’s choice? Hey, the boy is not Indian, although he could act like one..

In the other hand, Preity remembered about her love story when she was 15. She met a nice guy, Indian, which happened to be a Moslem. When her mother found out about it, she was furious. She instructed Preity to cancel all the relationship with the Moslem boy. She still remembered about the bitterness from the “Partition” (1947), the time when Indian Moslems decided to form a country called ‘Pakistan’, and Indian Hindus still stood for a country of ‘India’. Preity argued her mother that “Mahatma Gandhi” has told them to make a peace with Moslem, but her mother stood still. Therefore Preity just thought, “Since the Great Gandhi couldn’t change her mind, then what could I do instead?”

Meanwhile, Rani was an MSc in rocket science. At the 1st time she had a nice career in NASA, the prestigious institution in USA, but later she decided to give up her career and pursue her dream to be a painter. Her mother was shocked, but praised to the Sarasvati (goddess of Art, in Hindu’s way) when she looked at Rani’s painting exhibition which full of success. Then, suddenly Rani told her mother, she felt lost. She felt that painting was not fun anymore since it was a job for her, not a thing to fill the leisure time. She wondered about going back to NASA and give up her career in painting. She asked her mother’s opinion. It brought the confusion to her for the right suggestion to Rani’s career.

Monica Pradhan told us the stories with a lightly and funny way. The stories also told us about the dealing with cancer things, preparing the nice Indian dishes, mixed nation weddings (when Indian married non-Indians) and sensing the ancient Indian Cultural in their western 'USA' lifestyle . Even I don’t like to classify about the reading materials, I could say that she was not too hardly like Jumpha Lahiri, and not too chicky like Kavita Dashwani. The book could entertain us all in so many ways..

So, between east and west, does mom really know the best?

Sometimes they could take the wrong choices for us.. but I’m sure they are always trying to love us in the best way they can do..

BEAUTY, BRAIN & BEHAVIOUR (Suatu Studi Komparatif :P)

Mungkin ini yang namanya kualat! He..he..

Soalnya, everytime kalo ngliat pemilihan Putri Indonesia, Miss Universe, ato Miskomunikasi sekali pun.. ;P, biasanya MC-nya selalu nyebut2, "Mereka yang menjadi juara, sudah dinilai melalui seleksi ketat terhadap penampilan, wawasan, dan juga perilaku mereka.." Dan.. jeng-jeng.. pemenang yang beruntung langsung disebut namanya, dan bertenggerlah mahkota sebesar dan seberat bola bowling di kepalanya..

Saya kira tadinya yg namanya Beauty, Brain & Behavior (B3) hanya ada di pemilihan putri-putrian itu.. tapi ternyata.. itu juga BERLAKU DI KANTOR! Cibiran saya terhadap B3 itu harus saya koreksi ulang sepertinya..

Well.. rasanya pendapat ini mewakili seluruh pendapat orang-orang yang ada di departemen saya. Tapi berhubung 'ybs' ini orangnya sangat transparan kalau memuji orang (mungkin a bit exaggerating for some people), jadi komentar 'ybs' ini cukup bisa jadi patokan yang valid, sevalid hasil penelitian para peraih nobel.. ;)

Saya punya supervisor baru. Dia pindahan dari tim yg lain. Sepertinya 'ybs' saya ini 'get into' sekali kepadanya, sampai-sampai dia bujuk 'Diatasnya ybs' untuk memindahkan supervisor itu ke tempatnya (dan menimbulkan protes dari 80% penduduk kantor di departemen saya yg berjumlah 150 orang-an), dan langsung jadi atasan saya. Kenapa 'ybs' itu begitu 'get into' kepada dia? Ya gak laen gak bukan karena B3 itu tadi..

Iseng-iseng, saya sekalian membuat komparasi dengan apa yang saya miliki.. Namanya juga studi komparasi untuk membuktikan hipotesis.. he..he..

Beauty..

Salah seorang teman saya pernah bilang bahwa, "Cakep itu relatif, jelek itu absolut!" Well, kalo melihat supervisor saya yang satu ini (cowok), rasa2nya baik cowok mau pun cewek sama-sama berpendapat bahwa dia ini keren sekali. Anda tahu Sakhruh Khan? (nulisnya bener gak ya?) Nah, orang ini versi kerennya Sakhruh Khan itu. Porsi tubuhnya juga proportional, dan kulitnya tanned..

Sementara saya? Wajah saya bener-bener pas-pas-an, dilihat dari 8 arah mata angin pun tetap gak akan ada perubahan yang berarti.. he..he.. Porsi tubuh saya juga rada-rada hancur lebur, dan kulit saya ini seperti kekurangan pigmen.. Niat mo jadi tanned dengan berjemur, malahan jadi merah terbakar dan terkelupas.. jadi seperti korban radiasi nuklir instead of being tanned.. :P

Brain..

'Ybs' didepan semua orang di tim saya langsung berkomentar, "Menurut saya, Mas X itu (supervisor saya) bisa bekerja untuk field apa pun. Hasilnya bagus. Tinggal butuh kebiasaan untuk meningkatkan kualitasnya saja." Sepertinya 'ybs' ini pernah mencoba Mas X itu di berbagai field, dan hasilnya memuaskan. Sementara tim yg lain pun (bukan 'ybs' saja) juga berpendapat yang sama. Mas X itu juga selalu diminta untuk membantu tim-tim lain. Singkat kata, pasaran penggunaannya tinggi..

Saya? Waduh.. penguasaan saya terhadap field utama saja masih megap-megap. Pernah dikasih field lain, dan selanjutnya saya malah minta pola tentang pengerjaan field itu serta mereplika ulang pekerjaannya karena gak ngerti! :P Lebih parah lagi, ada 2 field yang saya hindari, dan tiap kali mau ditunjuk untuk mengerjakan 2 field itu, saya buru2 beralesan mejikuhibiniu serta mengalihkannya ke pegawai lain. Gak heran kalo 'Ybs' sempat gave a note to me, "Kamu itu harus banyak belajar lagi, penguasaanmu masih banyak yang kurang." Walaupun saya akui hal itu benar adanya, tapi instead of menambah waktu untuk mempelajari pengetahuan teknis field utama, saya malahan lebih tertarik untuk baca novel dan buku2 non-fiksi populer.. he..he..

Behavior..

Mas X ini benar-benar santun. Perilakunya sopan tingkat advanced! Gak heran kalo 'Ybs' (yg notabene cewek, middle age something..) juga mengimbangi rate of politeness kalau berbicara dengannya, dan langsung jadi topik utama edan-edanan dari semua teman-teman saya 1 tim ini yang emang 'rada-rada jengkel' sama hal tersebut.. Dan, gak ada orang yang benci kepadanya.. sepertinya loh yaa..

Saya? Wuehehehe! Public Enemy! Banyak orang bilang saya ini cuek, sombong! Bahkan perilaku saya yang kurang senyum dan kurang ramah juga banyak diprotes orang. Pekerjaan saya ini emang membutuhkan komunikasi tinggi dengan orang lain, tapi biasanya itu menjengkelkan orang yang kita mintai keterangan. Mas X itu selalu senyum kalau ada orang lain yang menjawab dengan ketus dan ribet. Sementara saya? Pernah ada orang yang ketus dalam menjawab lewat telpon, dan setengah marah-marah.. saya hanya diam, dan setelah dia selesai, saya langsung balas dengan nada suara yang sedatar-datarnya persis kayak Frankenstein, "Udah? Gak ada tambahan keterangan lagi? Ya udah kalo gitu.." Brak! Saya banting telponnya, sampai teman disebelah saya 'Step-by-Step' seperti New Kids on The Block! :P

Uraian saya ini maksudnya bukan untuk menggambarkan bahwa saya kepengen jadi seperti Mas X. Saya percaya bahwa orang itu emang diciptakan sesuai dengan karakter-nya masing-masing. Dari jaman Adam & Eve pun, saya yakin kombinasi DNA yang dimiliki Tuhan di awang-awang sono emang udah berlainan antara yg satu dengan yang lain.. he..he.. Uraian saya ini lebih bermaksud untuk review terhadap diri saya sendiri, untuk lebih meyakini bahwa B3 itu emang syarat mutlak untuk sukses dimana-mana..

So, apakah saya sendiri juga sebenarnya memiliki B3 tersebut, tetapi saya tidak menyadarinya?

Only God knows!

:)

THE SOUND OF (LEARNING) MUSIC

I was an Electone Instructor at that time in Bandung. Electone is a musical instrument with two layer keyboards and bass pedals (please, don’t mistake that with PSR or keyboard.. widening your vision anybody.. helloooo.. ;P). I remember I had one student, who couldn’t play the electone so well, after so many times of our sessions (perhaps, around 3 months). There was no significant progression at all. Actually, I just could be silent as long as the payment still existed for me, but I couldn’t stand it instead (dumb of me! ;P). It rose my boiling mad, and I said it out loud,

“Do you practice at home?” I asked.
“No!” he answered truthfully.
My degree of boiling mad was increasing, “So, WHY DO YOU STILL COME HERE?!”
“My parents ordered me to!” he answered very clearly..

The next 7 years after that, my cousin (in the age of 7) started to learn classical piano. Her parents were so inspired by me. They said, it would have been good should they have a kid who could play the song through the piano in a proper way. After 3 years of attending classical piano lesson, I saw there was no significant progression in her piano skill. She could play.. um.. fair (I’m a bit exaggerating here.. he..he.. sorry..), but lack in rhythmic and dynamic. In another word, she has no musical sense.. Playing piano for her was just like.. finishing her obligation in a military services training.. perhaps ;P

It raised my curiousity to ask her, “Do you like to play piano exactly?” She said, “No!” (exactly like I expected, and it doesn’t take a genious to read between the lines.. like Lea Salonga said.. ;P). She continued, “I’m stressed if I have to play piano. My parents order me to do that! Actually, I like to swim.. much better than.. this!” She answered it emotionally like the US presidential candidate on the campaign arena, and by appointing her finger to my piano! At that time, her mom asked me a help to give her a tips in playing the composition for a junior competition that she wanted to participate.. um.. correction.. that her mom wanted her to participate.. he..he..

I remembered about myself. Actually, I didn’t like to have a musical lesson at the 1st time. It was my father’s idea to buy Electone when I was 7 years old. He said, he just wanted to have it for himself (he could play it, poor skill.. he..he.. but he was good at guitar and musical sense). Then, when there was no sign that I attracted to that musical instrument after 3 months from the date of purchasing, without any permission he instructed me to attend the musical lesson for Electone! My fright to him was the biggest motivation in attending the musical lesson!

But, I don’t know, after that, I think I have to believe in “talent”. I begin to like it after 6 months of attending the musical lesson. I felt that I “needed” to play music. I practiced because I wanted to, not like my cousin that practiced becaused her mother ordered her to. And the journey of my music exploration goes from electone, to jazz piano, and playing in a musical group. I have experienced in so many music performances, and got a chance to know so many good music tutors in raising my musical skill.. It’s all becaused of I want to.. and I need to..

So, before instructing your kids to have a musical lesson.. please.. consider their “sound” of learning music. Do they really have a talent for that? Do they consider playing musical as their needs? Do they really want to do that?

But, of course.. I will instruct my kids (should I have one or two later) to learn music as well, without any hesitations!

It’s an order! ;P

THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT S_X

Although that I’m still single (repeated: s-i-n-g-l-e.. God, that word recently always comes to my mind and begin to familiar with myself ;P), it doesn’t mean that I don’t have any family man conversations. Since most of my friends in my audit team have their own family (wife/husband and kids), so I feel that I’ve got a lot of informations about the knowledge regarding the family business..

Well, someone should need to be tutored before they enter the battle field, right? ;P

So one of the things that really made Mr. B (one of my supervisor) worried that his kid (a boy in the age of 15, who studies in the 1st year of high school) was detected to have.. a girl friend. Actually that was a very & really normal thing. But, Mr. B was afraid that his boy will do something dangerous.. you know.. regarding s_x’s matter. That’s why he advised his kid about that, “Hey, please becareful, do you understand that should you try to explore ‘that thing’ with her it will be a dangerous step of your life!” And you know what his kid said? “Aahh, relax Sir. I know what I’m doing. I’m not a kid anymore. I’ll be careful with that. I have known about s_x! Better than you thought!”

It left kind of shocked feeling to Mr. B, for accepting that his kid has grown up so fast. And then, suddenly, we all went to our own experience in the past. Right now we are in the age of 30s & 40s, and we wondered of how we knew the information about s_x for the 1st time. Mr. B said that he knew about it in the age of 13, from his friend. And I confirmed that I had that experience too. I knew from my friend when I was 11 years old. We were in elementary school, we were gossiping about our teacher who at last being pregnant after her marriage of 5 years. It was kind of horror feeling to me to accept the reality that baby was made (like my friend said, connecting men's 'thing' with women's 'thing', you know.. I think I shouldn't be obvious to tell exactly what the 'thing' is..), not just given incidentally from God!

And at that time suddenly I felt connected with those kissing, huggings, and some kind of romantic activities between men and women, which I’ve seen from television or movies, and of course made them felt panick and tried to cover my eyes with their hands in order not to see that. My friend named the terms for such activity as f_ck_ng! He also emphasized that no baby will be delivered in the world without those f_ck_ng activities!

Of course it was too young for us to understand about surrogate mothers and so on.. ;P

S_x education was given to us in elementary school and junior high. But, so far, we felt that they didn’t give enough information. So far, we just got it from ourself curiousity. Therefore, to avoid some misunderstandings among their kids, my friends and supervisor discussed the matters about when the right time for us to tell our kid about s_x. Mr. B said that he prepared to talk about it as soon as his boy (he has 2nd son, who is in the age of 12) steps his age into 14. Mr. I, who has a son of 11 years old agreed with that, then he also suggested that the study is introduced by inviting kid to take a bath with their parents (e.g. son with dad, and daughter with mom). Also in that activity, mom and dad each give explanation about s_xual organ, and about the change of it when we are grown up..

In this section, Mrs. L gave a laugh a little, she said, “You know what? My husband didn’t want to do that anymore.” It left my curiousity to ask further, why? “Because, after doing that activity with our son, the next morning when we were having a breakfast together, also with the nanny, our son told the nanny in front of my husband about that experience. Also, he told his nanny about how big and hairy his daddy’s 'thing' was! Of course it left an awkward situation between the nanny, my husband and I!” And we all bursted our tears for laughing about it..

So, it doesn’t matter about your decision in teaching your little kids about s_x, as long as you give a note to them not to spread your teaching matters about it to CNN, VOA or any other mass media as well.. ;P

8 HOURS OR NOT 8 HOURS, IS THAT A QUESTION?

Obviously, Shakespeare didn’t live in the era when the office has a tradition to set 8 working hours. Should there be like that, I’m sure Shakespeare would have replaced his famous tag on Hamlet (“To be or not to be, that is the question..”) with the title as above.. ;P

The statement really trigs me, when my dearest friend told me that some member of my team doesn’t like me. One of them (let’s just say, ‘the angel’ ;P), stabbed me at my behind. She gossiped me not to be efficient in working. She told my dearest friend that I almost did nothing during my work. I couldn’t give ‘the best finding’ with her statement, “He is nothing! His finding in audit result was not SATISFIED!” And, the worst was, “During his working time, he almost browsed the internet all the time!” Not mention she added, “By his quality like that, our manager still give him good grades on his personal annually appraisal!”

How 'angelic' she was! ;P

I almost said to her, “Well, why didn’t you accuse me to sleep with our manager (she is a woman) to have that high grades? Please be my guess!” But let us just store it in here (and I don’t think that she will read this notes.. he..he..)

But, later I thought nothing about ‘the finding’. I don’t care with that, as long as I could guarantee that my work has been completed well. One thing that worried me was her accusation to me for not using the working time efficiently. I have to admit that during my working time, of course I spare a time to browse the internet (not all the time, but poor alas that ‘the angel’ always seen my screen posed on the internet while she stood up and saw my laptop). It means that I didn’t use 8 hours working time efficiently. And I’ve ever heard that one of my boards (she is really so muslimah) said, “I’ve been messaged by my uzstad since the 1st time I started working here, ‘Allah has given you a chance to have a working for 8 hours in the office. So, if you are working less than 8 hours, it means you commit a sin..’”..

Hmmm.. 8 hours.. Let’s see. Besides browsing on the net during my working time, I also spared my time to ‘visit the toilet (long or short.. hey.. it depends! ;P)’, to talk with my friend through the phone or lively conversation (of course, not a business purposes ;P).. and do my praying. Well, to tell you the truth, everyday I just spent maybe only 6 hours net to work in the office!

Wow, that 'angel' really knew how to make me introspect myself.. ;P

When I compared with my other friends who still works in a foreign company (as I said, I’m working in a governmental institution), they really have a flexible time to enter and leave the office, doesn’t have any proper presence machine. So, they usually start to work at 9.00, although it was ‘instructed’ you should come on 8.00. But, they always leave after 18.00 or 19.00. But they say, the important thing is not about the presence matter, but it is about your work. The management just care about the completed assignment. They don’t care about your entering and leaving time, while in the governmental institution, the image of your entering and leaving time is still important to be considered.

After a while, I think, I really don’t care about that 'angel’s statement. Okay, I really used a time to browse a web in the office, okay I don’t come on time (they usually come at 7.00, while I come at 7.30), but my mind always employ the working matters whenever I could. In Jakarta, where a traffic jam is always be a routine menu for us, you really could use that event to.. at least think about working matters, sketch the memo, sketch the note, designing a program, think about the report concept, and so many other working matters as well. And you can also do those when you were in Bathroom (take a batch or etc.), or in a hotel (while we are on our business trip), or in a lousy date (to distract your mind from possessive girlfriend perhaps? He..he..)

And obviously it will be more than 8 hours a day..

Whether you give 8 hours or not, it’s not a big matter I guess. But, you should give your heart to the working matters. And it’s not about 8 hours or not 8 hours anymore, but it’s all about exactly like Shakespeare said in Hamlet, “To be or not to be, that is the question..”

Or If I could complete that, “To be or not to be professional employee, that is the question..”

30s, SUCCESS and BEING SINGLE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

It was situated on the month of Ramadhan. My friend invited me to the Break Fasting in her residence. There were around 15 persons of them, fitted on one unit apartment in Rasuna Residence Area..

It was very merry! ;)

And, the discussion was not far from the old song.. which is.. “When Would You End Your Bachelor Status?”. If it would be composed to a song, I’m sure that Grammy at least would nominate us as ‘The Best Evergreen and Forever Last Song sang by the Singles and the Parents of the Singles’ ;P

Then, coincidentally, we all have been already in 30s, and still being single! I didn’t mean to say that we are happy with that, but since I think it is not only me who is in that ‘status’, I felt safe.. he..he.. it was wrong I guess.. but, still.. I felt safe.. I’m not alone.. he..he..

They had a brilliant mind and career; averagely they are in the mid managerial level. Some of them have finished their master studies, and one of them still battling with PhD final dissertation in Italy. Then, it was not a chick-lit story, or Sex & The City style.. which I felt at the previous time would be a fully fiction by telling a story of 30s, success and being single.. This time it was real! Real indeed! We are in the stage of being 30s, have a nice career (excluding me, please, I’m still a cleaning service staff compare to them.. ;P), and.. still single!

Most people said that we are too picky and choosy in finding our soul-mate for our future marriage. By looking at our status right now, they believe that it is us who have a big problem, not the situation, not anyone’s else situation.. Sometimes I hope that in the future, the persons who said such a thing like that to us will have the same problem like us.. or at least have children that get a situation exactly like us.. Hey, it is not like Charlotte who said, “I cursed you on the day that you were born!” but it was just a reminding spell.. which I guess it will not work at all since we are not witch and don’t have enough talent to be a professional witch! ;P

So, 30s and being single.. what’s wrong with that?

It is not all wrong, indeed. The wrong thing is, when you are 30s, success, being single, and stop looking for your forever soul mate to be your spouse.. Yes, it is all wrong. Indiana Jones doesn’t stop hunting the treasure, since Harrison Ford was still 30s (but still handsome though he is already 65s now) through Indiana Jones I, II, III & IV.. So why do we have to stop instead? Doesn’t matter to be so picky or choosy, the important thing is, find your own happiness, not the other person’s happiness, but please consider the complaint from our own parents since (Damned! I don’t want to admit it, but I have to) their happiness is the part of our happiness too..

So, to all 30s, success and being single, I just want to say to you all (and myself of course), “Don’t stop to hunt until you finally found someone..

Or until the world stop turn around.. ;P